Is it really necessary?

I am constantly at the airport picking up strangers. It is the biggest part of the job. Unless you are a repeat client or a celebrity, I do not know you from Adam. It is nothing personal. I just do not know what every person in the world looks like. This brings me to the point of this blog.

As a professional chauffeur, I have the need to carry name signs. They typically bear the name of my passenger or their company. My sign, of course, is so they know who their ride is. Needless to say, the sign is essential to success.

I know that you all think I have a glamorous job. At least I think you do. The first question I get when my occupation is divulged is usually " Have you driven any famous people?" Yes I have, and no I will NOT tell you who. All that being said. You are not being slick when you walk in front of me, and from the corner of your eye, take a quick glance at the name on the sign. I do see you and you are not very sly. You fail at spying. Is it really necessary to see what famous person I am driving on any given day. I have gone so far as to put "no one you know" on a name sign and laugh at anyone that reads it. Your curiosity is predictable and sad all at the same time. STOP IT!

My favorite question

I do not know how many of you out there are chauffeurs like myself. Frankly, I do not care. The point of this particular blog is to address the question we all get and the clients somehow all know to ask. "Is the tip included?" AAAAARRRRGH!!!!! Legally, yes, the tip is included. IT IS CALLED MY PAY AND THE COMPANY PROVIDES IT TO ME AS A WAGE! If you are too cheap to reach into your fat pocket and pull out a $5 then do me a favor. Stop asking if the tip is included.
I have seen countless occasions where, at the hotel, the guy who loads the single suitcase is tipped a $10 or even a $5. After all, he did have to put the suitcase in a car trunk. I guess he deserves a small tip of sorts. But me, The guy who literally holds your precious life in my steering-wheel-clutching hands? I get the friggin shaft on the money train? How is this right? The doorman who literally barely lifted a finger gets tipped but the professional chauffeur who got you safely, and quickly to your destination, gets nothing but a stupid question. My fiance gets snippy with me for tipping the girl who delivers my order at Sonic. I tell her "Those who live on tips tip."
To the end now. A tip is not always deserved. Nor is it always expected. I know when have blown a tip and when I have earned one. We all do. If you do not wish to tip, then just walk away. Do not ask me "Is the tip included?"