Apparently, there are nice people left in the world. Unfortunately, there are also some jackasses still here too. Sometimes the two are friends. Most of the time, they are merely co workers. All the time, they are polar opposites. Comic book villain material. Yin and yang, salt and pepper, minus left eye.
We as chauffeurs often do multiple meeting reservations. That being where there are many meetings in a few different locations in a single day. Sometimes, after the last meeting, we pick up an extra passenger. The tag along. He is the jackass. He does not know of his status though. To him, he is a normal guy. To everyone else, jackass!
The tag along is picked up as a courtesy. It is not expected, nor should it be. He sometimes has a taxi waiting there or on the way there to pick him up. The tag along quickly becomes the focal point of the last leg of the journey. This is usually to the airport. He is loud, overly boisterous, and incredibly unfunny. Except to himself. He always has the biggest bag and the smallest job. Like I said, jackass.
Despite the reservation being made by someone other that the tag along, he somehow makes it his responsibility to "settle up" the trip. And as always, his comments are unwelcome both by his companions and his chauffeur. There it comes... my favorite question. Not by the passenger I have driven around all day but by the jackass tag along. To quote a great comedy movie, "Thanks a lot Bin Laden."
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Your reservation
At least twice a week it happens. I am standing.... Let me start at the beginning. When a client makes a reservation, they receive a copy of the manifest. It tells them everything they need to know. Where to go when the plane lands, the chauffeur's name, the final destination, and everything else. Meeting at the baggage claim for your flight is the standard. A curbside meeting is optional and must be requested.
That being said. At least twice a week it happens. I am standing at the required baggage claim. The pilot has advised the passengers of said baggage claim. They all know where to go unless they are deaf or stupid. Not to mention, The manifest tells them I will be there. I wait, holding my sign. Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes pass. My phone rings. "Where are you?" Asks dispatch. "I am standing at the baggage claim." "Your passenger is standing curbside 10 gates away!" Fuck!
It seems that no matter how many times you tell, show, retell and reiterate, a few idiots will always walk out the first door they see and then get pissed at their chauffeur when he is not standing right there waiting. PEOPLE, YOU ARE TOLD THREE OR FOUR TIMES WHERE TO GO! The reservation tells you. Your pilot tells you. The video screen tells you, and if you had a travel planner, then they told you. Do not dare to get angry with your chauffeur for not being able to read the mind of a fool. That one is on you.
That being said. At least twice a week it happens. I am standing at the required baggage claim. The pilot has advised the passengers of said baggage claim. They all know where to go unless they are deaf or stupid. Not to mention, The manifest tells them I will be there. I wait, holding my sign. Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes pass. My phone rings. "Where are you?" Asks dispatch. "I am standing at the baggage claim." "Your passenger is standing curbside 10 gates away!" Fuck!
It seems that no matter how many times you tell, show, retell and reiterate, a few idiots will always walk out the first door they see and then get pissed at their chauffeur when he is not standing right there waiting. PEOPLE, YOU ARE TOLD THREE OR FOUR TIMES WHERE TO GO! The reservation tells you. Your pilot tells you. The video screen tells you, and if you had a travel planner, then they told you. Do not dare to get angry with your chauffeur for not being able to read the mind of a fool. That one is on you.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The white truck
I would like to let the readers know a little something. I am going to let the cat out of the bag. I do not own, make payments, pay the insurance, or maintain the car I drive. I simply drive it. It is also painfully obvious to any other driver on the road that it is a limo and that I am a limo driver. A 2006 Lincoln Town Car with super dark tinted windows and custom tags should say it all.
Due to the tint on the windows, it is nearly impossible to determine my status. Am I with a passenger? Am I even aware of your existence? Let me assure you, I do know you are there. Right there, six inches from my rear bumper going 75 down the highway in the fast lane. Please be aware that I am not afraid to stomp my left foot on the brake pedal and allow you to slam into the back of the car. As I said before, I do not own the car.
I can not count the number of times per day it happens. I get cut off. I get tailgated. I get swerved at. I get flipped off. All by people who are in too big of a hurry to begin with. And the worst offender of all? The white pickup truck. The truck its self makes the driver feel invincible. I understand that fact of life. Then to add to the insanity, white is the cheapest color to make. Therefore, what you get is a cheap, invincible, idiot who thinks his truck entitles him to the entire road all at once.
If you ever find yourself driving in Texas and see an accident involving a Town Car and a white truck, And the suited driver is laughing, stop and say hi.
Due to the tint on the windows, it is nearly impossible to determine my status. Am I with a passenger? Am I even aware of your existence? Let me assure you, I do know you are there. Right there, six inches from my rear bumper going 75 down the highway in the fast lane. Please be aware that I am not afraid to stomp my left foot on the brake pedal and allow you to slam into the back of the car. As I said before, I do not own the car.
I can not count the number of times per day it happens. I get cut off. I get tailgated. I get swerved at. I get flipped off. All by people who are in too big of a hurry to begin with. And the worst offender of all? The white pickup truck. The truck its self makes the driver feel invincible. I understand that fact of life. Then to add to the insanity, white is the cheapest color to make. Therefore, what you get is a cheap, invincible, idiot who thinks his truck entitles him to the entire road all at once.
If you ever find yourself driving in Texas and see an accident involving a Town Car and a white truck, And the suited driver is laughing, stop and say hi.
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